Do Therapists have their own therapists?
Last week, I shared a clip on my Instagram from the podcast Skin in The Game.
In the clip, the hosts are discussing their experiences of attending therapy. When I shared the clip, I commented that it was great to see people talking openly about being in therapy.
So, why am I telling you this? Well, once I thought about it a bit longer I started to wonder if I was being a bit hypocritical.
I think its great when people talk openly about being in therapy. Its so important to reduce the stigma of seeking mental health support. Yet, I rarely mention my own therapy experience in my professional life.
Personal therapy experience
Now, there are good reasons for this. No one wants to go to a therapist to hear them talk about themselves for 50 minutes. When I work with a client, the session is entirely focused on the client and their needs.
So, while I’m unlikely to disclose in a session that I’ve been in therapy (unless the client asks directly, and its relevant to our work together), I do think it is important that clients know that their therapist has done their own therapeutic work.
If you’re wondering, during my fours years of training to qualify as a psychotherapist we were required to attend 120 hours of personal therapy. That’s a lot of therapy, and after qualifying I took a break from attending. Currently, I’ve been seeing a new therapist for a few months.
The amount of therapy required to qualify as a psychotherapist varies quite a lot depending on the education institute/ accrediting body, but this is something you can ask your therapist/ potential therapist about if you’re curious.
So, with all that therapy behind me, why am I still going? Well the reasons I go are the reasons I believe any psychotherapist should be in therapy (although not necessarily continuously) throughout their career.
1.They are interested in self-discovery and personal development
I really believe that psychotherapy is one of the most effective tools we have for self-understanding and actualisation.
The therapeutic process fosters profound insights and empowers individuals to embrace their true potential and lead fulfilling lives.
Why wouldn’t any therapist want to experience all those benefits for themselves, unless they believe therapy is only for a certain type of person?
The therapeutic relationship should be a collaborative relationship, and it would be difficult to approach it from that angle believing that the client was the only one in the room who could benefit from additional insight into themselves!
2. Therapists are human and experience challenges
Sometimes there is a bit of a myth that therapists know how to handle every single difficult situation life could come up with and be emotionally unaffected by it. I think I even somewhat believed this myself before I began my psychotherapy training.
Of course, being a therapist doesn’t make you immune to life’s challenges — grief, stress, relationship difficulties, parenting troubles etc. Sure, we might know some additional tools to deal with these challenges, but it doesn’t mean we don’t experience them.
Therapy is one of the best tools for dealing with difficult times, so it makes sense to make an appointment with another therapist when we are going through something tough.
3. To make sure the therapy session is focused on the client
Related to the point above, its almost inevitable that we will have had similar experiences to our clients. The Covid pandemic was an extreme example of this, therapists were experiencing the challenges of lockdown at the same time as our clients and trying to support them through it while also coping ourselves.
Its so important that as therapists we can put our own issues aside and focus on the client and their needs and really listen to them without assuming their experience of a situation will be exactly the same as our own. Or even worse, taking over the session by talking about our own problems.
Attending our own personal therapy helps by making sure we do have an appropriate space to talk about our own issues and that we can continue to give our clients the great therapy experience they deserve.
4. It helps us to learn and grow professionally
There are a number of ways that being in the ‘client chair’ helps us to become better therapists. The most obvious is picking up new therapy tools like worksheets, exercises or even just ways of explaining therapeutic concepts from our own therapists. For example, I first learned about the ‘Anger Iceberg’ in therapy and now its something I use with my own clients.
However, more importantly we also learn how vulnerable it can feel to be a client in therapy. We can experience the common fears entering therapy e.g. is it really confidential? what does the therapist really think of me? what will happen if I admit this thing I’ve never even admitted to myself before?
By being brave enough to face these fears ourselves, we can appreciate the bravery of our clients even more and understand how to sensitively handle our clients vulnerability.
In sharing my experiences of going to therapy as a therapist, my goal really was to help people to understand that therapy is not for any one type of person. Many people can benefit from increased insight into their thoughts, feelings and experiences.
The goal of therapy is not to ‘heal’ into somebody who is unaffected by the challenges of life, but rather to become somebody who copes with these challenges as best as they can, using the supports available to them.
Finally, I really want people to know that their therapist has often been on the ‘client side’ of the room and understands something of the vulnerability and bravery it takes to sit in that chair, week after week.
If taking that first step and staring therapy is something that you’re interested in, please do get in touch to discuss an appointment with me in my practice in Birr, Dublin or online. You can contact me by email on jennydunnetherapy@gmail.com or by text/ call on 0892405449.
